Helping without feeding the loop

When someone you love is caught in OCD, the natural thing is to reassure them, help with the rituals, or avoid what upsets them. It comes from love. It can also keep OCD going.

Accommodation, explained

Families often end up joining the rituals: answering the same question over and over, washing things a certain way, avoiding certain words or places. Professionals call this accommodation. Reducing it slowly, ideally with a therapist's guidance, is one of the most helpful things you can do.

Instead of	Try
"Yes, I'm sure, for the tenth time, the door is locked."	"I can tell the doubt is really loud right now. I'm not going to answer again, but I'm right here with you."
Re-washing the dishes their way to avoid a fight.	Agreeing together, with their therapist, on small steps to do less of it.
"Just stop thinking about it."	"That thought is OCD, not you. Let's wait it out together."

Don't cut off all reassurance overnight. It works best as a plan you agree on together.

Your situation

I'm a parent

Talk about OCD as something separate from your child ("That's the OCD talking"). Stay calm when rituals happen, and don't punish them. Get an assessment from your doctor. If your child starts therapy, ask the therapist how you can support practice at home. Don't forget siblings: they may feel confused or left out, and a simple explanation helps.

I'm a partner

You may be asked to reassure, check, or change your habits. Try to agree on what you'll do together rather than giving in or refusing in the moment. If the OCD is about your relationship, know that the doubts are a symptom, not a verdict on your couple. Couples can attend some therapy sessions together.

I'm a teacher

Signs in class can include lateness from rituals, erasing and redoing work, repeated questions, avoiding certain objects, or trouble finishing tests. Helpful accommodations include extra time, discreet breaks, and a quiet plan agreed with parents. Avoid repeated reassurance, and never call out rituals in front of the class.

Download the teacher kit (PDF)

I'm an employer

An employee with OCD may be slower on some tasks or need time for appointments. Keep what they share confidential. Ask what would help, and consider flexible deadlines or schedules. Your employee assistance program, if you have one, can be a good resource.

I'm caring for an older adult

Repeated questions and checking can wear you down. Respond with patience, then gently redirect instead of answering again and again. If the worries are new, encourage a visit to the doctor, since new symptoms later in life deserve a medical check-up.

I'm a family doctor

Many patients won't mention obsessions unless asked directly, especially taboo ones. Simple screening questions about unwanted thoughts and repeated behaviours help. Refer to a professional trained in ERP. Patient handouts in French and English will be available here.

Look after yourself too. Supporting someone with OCD is tiring. Your own support, from friends, a therapist, or a family group, matters.